when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
