nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
