What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You have to summon your inner elephant
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
