I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Randomize
