My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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