Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize