We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
