There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
