If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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