I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Randomize
