Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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