No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
