you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
