I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
this is an emotional support booty call
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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