I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
