: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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