Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Someone shit on the floor
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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