Porn is love you can see.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
