He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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