About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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