My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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