Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
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