I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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