is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
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We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
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Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.