My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
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I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
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HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.