Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
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All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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