I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.