Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
