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• (571): View more from Virginia

  I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD

  (206): View more from Washington

  Or, you could have used a condom

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• (360): View more from Washington

  It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.

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• (315): View more from New York

  Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair

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• (276): View more from Virginia

  I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (716): View more from New York

  It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks

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