don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Randomize
