Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.