Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.

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  (508): If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you. http://tfl.nu/1yt8
  Replies (9) Good night (827) Bad night (1921)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face

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  (609): you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face http://tfl.nu/l9l7
  Replies (23) Good night (2413) Bad night (773)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...

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  (910): Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table... http://tfl.nu/b55w
  Replies (6) Good night (3788) Bad night (891)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better

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  (970): Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better http://tfl.nu/no2g
  Replies (26) Good night (1948) Bad night (4928)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it

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  (503): Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it http://tfl.nu/9sa0
  Replies (15) Good night (2950) Bad night (1939)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."

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  (864): You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor." http://tfl.nu/jk5x
  Replies (9) Good night (3368) Bad night (788)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.

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  (678): I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation... (404): I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud. http://tfl.nu/9qj8
  Replies (8) Good night (3990) Bad night (776)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses

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  (780): Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses http://tfl.nu/pn1w
  Replies (24) Good night (2167) Bad night (761)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.

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  (631): Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl. http://tfl.nu/065k
  Replies (13) Good night (1718) Bad night (2945)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window

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  (585): Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window http://tfl.nu/p9te
  Replies (4) Good night (706) Bad night (939)
• Favorite

  (551): View more from New Jersey

  But break dance skills will only take you so far

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  (551): But break dance skills will only take you so far http://tfl.nu/859m
  Replies (1) Good night (635) Bad night (372)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.

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  (337): Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment. http://tfl.nu/4czr
  Replies (2) Good night (873) Bad night (491)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details

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  (425): Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details http://tfl.nu/91yu
  Replies (1) Good night (447) Bad night (307)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?

  (1-913): View more from Kansas

  Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....

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  (913): The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean? (1-913): Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy..... http://tfl.nu/mjqc
  Replies (1) Good night (564) Bad night (372)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle

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  (619): you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle http://tfl.nu/c9ca
  Replies (3) Good night (314) Bad night (839)

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