Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
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