I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
