did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
