I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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