Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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