I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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