I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
