You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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