Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
