I'm so fucking centered right now
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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