smell my finger.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
