somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
