More tranny stories later!
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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