If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
