So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize
