well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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