ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
