you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He shit in the fireplace
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
