Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
did i just pee glitter
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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