I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
