I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
