You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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