I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
