Duck Duck Cougar?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
He passed out mid-signature
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
no more duck duck goose at the bar
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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