well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
