I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Watching her eat just hurts me
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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