Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
