I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Randomize
