I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
