i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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