plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
