what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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