Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
