I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
