ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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