is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Enjoy the penises
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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