connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
