why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
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