Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
