The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Randomize
