She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
