We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
