talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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