apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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